Every year since 2010, with the sole exception of three years ago when the Covid emergency was at its peak, Scot Goes Pop has published an April Fool. You’ve fallen for some of them, you haven’t fallen for others, but all of them have been suitably outlandish. Two of my favourites can be read HERE and HERE.
This year, like every other year, I’ve tried to dream up the most outlandish and improbable thing I can think of. Here’s what I’ve come up with –
In 2016, the SNP promised the people of Scotland that they would not be dragged out of the EU against their will, and that they would definitely get a vote on whether or not Scotland should become independent to avoid Brexit.
In 2022, after years of humming and hawing and setting dates for referendums and then scrapping them, by which point Scotland had been long since dragged out of the EU against its will, the SNP finally brought matters to a head by asking the Supreme Court to rule on whether a referendum could be held without Westminster’s permission. This was a serious and solemn step, not to be taken lightly, because if the court ruled in the wrong way it would be a crushing setback for the independence cause unless a credible Plan B was in place. Luckily it was – an integral part of the SNP’s plan was that a de facto referendum would automatically follow any court defeat. This part of the promise was practically signed in blood, and was taken seriously – because having marched their troops to the top of the hill and back down again so many times, it seemed inconceivable that the SNP would do so again when the stakes were so incredibly high.
The Supreme Court then ruled against the Scottish Government, and the SNP naturally indicated that they would press ahead with the second part of the plan by holding a de facto referendum.
After a few months, the SNP suddenly said “you know what, let’s not bother with the second part of the plan, actually, let’s do nothing instead”. This instantly transformed a plan that was supposed to have been a means of ensuring Scotland definitely had a vote on independence one way or another into a Scotland-randomly-shooting-itself-in-the-foot exercise. The only effect of pursuing the first part of the plan was now to remove forever one key strategic option for pursuing independence that the Scottish Government had previously always had in reserve. Nothing had been gained, and a huge amount had been lost, all because of a loss of nerve and yet another betrayal of trust.
The SNP members then narrowly voted to support this act of abject surrender, mainly because they’d somehow been hypnotised into believing that to do anything else would be “socially conservative” and “transphobic”.
So there you go, that’s the most unlikely and ridiculous thing I can think of this year.
Unfortunately, it’s just happened in real life.
(Luckily, there are still grounds for hope.)
Happy April Fool’s Day.
